The Duke Boys and the Bandit Hazzard
by Elenhin
Summary: This is a one shot, crossover between the Duke’s of Hazzard and Smokey and the Bandit, seeing as how they have a lot in common.


Authors note: This is just something my brain came up with after learning that John Schneider was an extra in the Smokey and the Bandit movie. Seeing as how they are always making 'Burt Reynolds' jokes, and how he played Boss Hogg in the later movie, I just had to do it. Seeing as how the Duke boys, and the bandit, would be hazardous…..

Big thanks to Earendil Eldar for beta work.

Disclaimer: The Duke Boys are not mine, I made up the names of the other drivers, but I don't own the Duke boys, not the General Lee. I promise that once I'm through with them, there will be nothing broken that a trip to Cooter's garage can't fix….

* * *

_**The Duke Boys and the Bandit Hazzard**_

"Breaker one nine, breaker one nine. Snowman, this is the Bandit coming at you, you got your ears on good buddy?" The Bandit kept a lookout for any side roads while he held the mike with one hand. Driving with the other and dividing his attention between the road behind him, and the one in front of him.

"Sure do Bandit, how's the Smokey situation up ahead?" Snowman asked, he was the one driving the rig, with Fred beside him. The dog sitting on the seat could not be more unfazed by what was going on around him. He didn't care what they were hauling, or where they were driving, he was just along for the ride.

Snowman was the one with the cargo, and the Bandit in his black Trans-Am was the bait. He tempted the Smokey to go after him, so the rig could pass without being bothered. Seeing as how it was their old friend or enemy, depending on how you looked at it, it wasn't hard. He hated the Bandit with an impressive passion, and now he was getting closer than the Bandit liked.

"He's still there, and I could use a hand with him."

"Fraid I can't help old buddy." Snowman said with a look at Fred.

"I'll think of something." Bandit assured him. He shook his head as he looked in the rear view mirror. It was time to see if there was anyone around who could lend a hand. Straightening his cowboy hat he grabbed the mike again.

"Breaker one nine, breaker one nine, this is the Bandit, anyone out there? Come on." He was about to repeat the call when a reply came in.

"This is Lost-sheep, what can we'all do for ya?"

Bandit grinned, trademark style. It seemed the battle wasn't over yet. "I've got a Smokey on my tail, and I need to find a way to shake him."

"Well, where are you?" The voice asked.

"I'm coming in from the south, and just passing a sign saying Hazzard County." Bandit told him.

Lost-sheep chuckled. "You're going right at us then, just keep on straight ahead and we'll set up a little bit of distraction there."

"Thank you good buddy." Bandit grinned again. "You heard that Snowman?"

"That's a big ten four. I got it alright." Snowman called back, and Bandit could hear the excitement in his voice.

Bandit kept on looking up ahead, trying to spot signs of what was coming. After just a little more than a mile he could see a couple of cars standing at the side of the highway. He stepped on the break as he saw a yellow Road Runner on the side with its hood open. He came sliding sideways to a stop not far from the girl leaning against the side of it, she was something to look at, tight top, and really short shorts.

Just ahead of it was an Orange Dodge Charger with two kids, one with his upper body out of the driver side window, the other coming running towards him while the first blond kid nimbly slid in through the window to sit behind the wheel.

"You're the one the Sheriff's after?" The dark haired boy asked as he came over.

"Sure am." Bandit answered touching the rim of his hat.

"Ye don't have to worry anymore then, Daisy here'll stall him, and then the rest of them boys'll all take off down the crossroad, have him really confused. All you got to do now is follow the General."

"The General?" Bandit asked, glancing towards the girl who was now showing off her legs in a really, really nice way.

"Yeah, the General Lee." The dark haired boy pointed towards the orange car that now had the engine running. It had a great big number one painted on the side, as well as the confederate flag on the roof, and the name General Lee painted above the door. With a wave the lad ran over to it, slid over the hood to clamber in through the window on the passenger side.

Bandit chuckled mirthfully, he wasn't sure if it would work or not, but the kids sure was enthusiastic about the plan. The girl waving after them as they took off. The Orange car was burning rubber, Bandit happily took of after it, the General. At least the driver seemed to know the difference between the brake and the accelerator, because he was sure enough pushing one of them to the metal. He was skidding sideways through some of the curves, and was leaving some fair rubber behind.

Giving a laugh he grabbed the mike again to call them. "Come in Lost-sheep, this is the Bandit here. Where are we going, over?"

"Well Bandit, we figured on taking the back road out of here, just hang on and we'll lead you right through."

Bandit checked the rear mirror again. The Smokey, Buford T. Justice wasn't in sight yet, but he didn't doubt he was coming after them.

The General turned down a another dirt road, and suddenly Bandit had to admit that whoever was driving the General, was a damn good driver. He handled the Dodge Charger near as good as he himself handled his Trans-Am. Skidding through turns and spraying gravel behind.

"You sure this leads somewhere?" Bandit asked. Not that he didn't trust the kids, but the Dead End sign rather made him think they might be heading down a dead end road there.

"Sure." A new voice came at him. "Just a bit of ditch not all folks can get past."

"Why not?" Bandit asked.

"Got to fly for a few feet there, ya'all up to it?" There was an unspoken challenge in the words.

"I can jump anything you can son." Bandit declared.

"Yee haw!" Bandit chuckled at the excited yell that came over the CB. He had enthusiasm, that much was certain, lots of it.

The General speed up, going faster by some extra miles. Bandit burst out into outright laughter as the driver sounded his horn. No ordinary horn for the General Lee, no, a really catchy melody. One more heavy turn taken in a sideway slide, and then the car was in the air to the melody of the horn. Jumping across an almost dried out creek. He went flying well above it, landing with a bounce and a slide on the other side.

Bandit went right after. An easy jump for him, but he was a bit impressed that some hillbilly in a hot road home built stock car could pull it off that well.

"We're gonna take a short cut here." The first voice came back on the CB.

"Ten four." Bandit grinned.

The General turned off a break neck turn of the road and across a field. Bandit didn't have any trouble keeping on his tail. They cut across the field and came out on another dirt road. With the Smokey coming up on the just within sight down the road.

"Lost sheep, this is the Bandit. Seems Smokey took another way around, over."

"Ah, damn it, Roscoe must have helped him out." The voice said.

"We'll beat him, no way ol'Roscoe can keep up with us."

"He won't have any trouble unless you step on it."

"You boys had better get out of this while you still can." Bandit said. "This is no half asleep country Sheriff you have here. It might be to much for you boys, over."

"Ain't no such thing as to much for the General." An indignant voice came back.

"I'm serious here." The Smokey was getting closer, and everyone who had encountered him all agreed that Buford T. Justice was mean, not the most intelligent, but he was mean. "He's a mean son of a bitch, and he's gonna be on your tail as well as mine now."

"You just worry about keeping up here." Again the good'ol cowboy ye haw came over the line, and then the horn.

The General was serious enough, braking a turn so sharp it went sliding sideways several yards before shooting forward again, taking of through the terrain. Up across a hill, sometimes far from the trees, sometimes missing them with a mere few inches.

Suddenly the Bandit found himself more hard pressed to keep up with the Orange car. He could do it, he was the Bandit after all, The Bandit. It just wasn't so easy anymore.

The General slid sideways down the bank and shoot forward in the creek, water standing out from the wheels in a fountain. It kept in the gorge for almost a mile before breaking out, crossing another field.

"Ya'all think we're good enough now?"

"I think you're good enough, son." Bandit laughed. "I think you're good enough, now, how about showing me the way out of here?"

"We can do that."

He could almost hear them grin. "I'm supposed to meet up with a truck that took the long way around. You boys think you can take me to meet up with it somewhere on the highway?"

"We're coming up right on it."

As the highway came in sight Bandit could see the truck coming. At the speed the General was going at, it seemed it would ram right into the side of the truck unless it slowed down some.

"Look out boy!" He called. "That's the truck your about to hit."

"We're right on top of it." The General steered towards a pail of gravel at the side of the road, taking flight and seared right over the truck to land on the other side. Breaking hard and turning back up on the road. Speeding up fast to pass the truck and slide in just in front of it.

Bandit came out on the road right behind the truck, and accelerated to cut in between the truck and the General.

"Breaker one nine, Bandit. This is the Snowman here. What's that Orange hunk of junk you've picked up, come on?"

"Hey, no one calls the General a hunk o'junk." The boy sounded quite offended.

"He wasn't meaning it, only saying it." The other voice cut across. "And besides the General is a hunk of junk."

"Yeah, but no one can call him that but us, Luke."

Snowman laughed as he listened to them. "Who are those guys you picked up there, Bandit?"

"Pair of local lads that lend a real nice hand, what say you we find a choking puke, grab a burger and thank them."

"I'm with you there Bandit." Snowman declared. "Fred's looking a bit hungry as well here."

The two boys in the Charger looked at each others.

"Choking puke, what's he talking about?"

"We hang on, and we'll find out."

"Okay." He tilted the rear view mirror to keep an eye on the car behind him. "I'm hanging on."

One Dodge Charger modified for racing, and one Trans-Am, they made some really good time to the closest truck stop. Those cars, and those drivers just couldn't go slow.

"General, this is the Bandit. We're gonna pull over here, come on."

"Okay." The General slid in on the parking lot sideways.

Bandit slid in right next to them, grinning as the two lads clambered out through the windows.

He jumped out himself and took a closer look at them. Red neck cowboys that much was certain. Blue Jeans and boots, the dark haired one had a half buttoned blue shirt, and the blond kid had a yellow shirt hanging lose over a blue t-shirt, tight fit. The girls would be all over that lad, that much he could tell.

He reached out a hand to them. "Nice to meet you lads, you gave us some good help back there."

"Ah, it wasn't nothing." The blonde laughed. "We're always messing with the cops, ain't no way for them to catch the General."

"Well, I'm the Bandit, and over there is the Snowman, and Fred." He pointed at the dog the other man was wearing. The two of them was the spitting image of the trucker cowboys, shirts and hats, thought Bandit surely put more on his image, with the red shirt and all.

"I'm Luke Duke." Luke said shaking his hand. "And this here's my cousin Bo."

Snowman laughed at that. "Well, what do you know, just like you Bo, even drives like you as well." He bent to let the dog down on the ground. "That was some impressive driving back there, I thought you were going to come down on top of me."

"Well, it would've been one way to hitch a ride." Luke grinned.

"Where did you learn driving like that son?" Bandit asked.

"Here and there." Bo shrugged with a big wide grin. "Ticking of ol'Roscoe make you learn fast."

Fred wandered off towards the entrance and Snowman clapped the Bandit on the shoulder. "Come on now Bandit. Lets buy those lads some food, before Fred gets in there and finishes it all up."

"I'm telling you he's getting fat." Bandit mocked. "Come on now boys."

Bo laughed and patted Luke on the shoulder. "I told you we'd find something to do. If you just cruise around for a bit, something always comes up."

"Yeah, but what'll we do now that fun is over?" Luke asked.

Bo shrugged, Luke doubted he even thought longer ahead than the next five minutes. He rarely ever did.

"I guess we hang around and see if something comes up." Luke grinned. "Hey, Bandit, what where ya'all hauling that them cops were so keen to get ya?"

"What makes you think it was something special." Bandit grinned at him teasingly, the kids had been bright enough when it came to racing, he wanted to know if they were as bright about other things as well.

"Well, them Smokey's don't tend to chase ya for hauling soda." Bo grinned. "I wouldn't be to surprised if y'all had shine in there."

"Shine?" Bandit asked with a smile.

"Moonshine." Luke clarified.

Bandit gave a whistle. "You catch on fast for a pair of country boys. Yeah, we're hauling 'shine' and we need to be fast about it to get paid."

"How fast?" Bo asked eagerly.

"Oh, lets just say we have two hours to finish a three hour ride." Snowman said. "We sort of made a bet that we could do it, and if we can, we get a damn lot of money."

"And if we don't, we get in a damn lot of trouble." Bandit finished for him.

"Well, why don't we help y'all out there." Bo grinned. "We can run up ahead and draw of some attention from y'all."

"Why would you want to do that?" Snowman asked.

"We ain't got nothing else to do." Bo shrugged. "This was our fun for the day."

Bandit pondered about if for a minute. "We sure could use the help, but are you boys sure you want to risk getting in that kind of trouble?" He asked. "Have you any idea what you'll get for running moonshine?"

The two lads looked at each others with a wide grin each. "We have an idea." Luke grinned. "We got caught on a shine run a few years ago, our probation just ended."

"And you'd risk it again?" Bandit asked with raised eyebrows.

"Like Bo here said, we ain't got nothing better to do." Luke shrugged.

"Okay." Bandit regarded both cars. "We have two damn fast cars here, we use both of them to run ahead. Any Smokey's will go after either one of us, and the truck will go clear. Now, you two just be sure to keep up if we get separated."

"Yeahaw!" Bo cried excitedly.

"That means you got it." Luke grinned.

"Well, lets going then." Bandit grinned. "Well meet up again for delivery, and then we'll have buy you that dinner we promised, alright."

"Yeah." Luke and Bo ran over back to the General while Bandit headed for his car and Snowman for the truck. Bandit grinned as he watched them at it. Since both lads came from the passenger side, Bo leapt up right across the hood and then slid in smoothly through the window.

All three vehicles left rubber behind pulling out, and then it was a race against time, as well as the Smokey. Bandit was however forced to admit that having an extra car helped a great deal. They didn't seem quite certain of what car to chase after, and once they had decided on that, the truck passed well clear.

Still, it took some serious driving, and it was all Bandit could do to keep a straight face when the police car chasing him ran straight of the road, not ready for the shock of having an orange stock car jumping over his head. He wondered if the boy was jumping all the time thinking it spared the tiers?

It was effective thought, the way they were going all over the main road and the back roads. No Smokey could keep up with them, not even Sheriff, Buford T. Justice. Especially not after the General slammed right into his side and knocked a door lose.

One hour and forty five minutes later they arrived at the spot where big and little Enos Burdette waited for them, and collected. Two cars speed away leaving the truck behind. Snowman had joined in with Bandit in the black Trans-Am, and the General followed close behind.

They were far away before Sheriff Buford T. Justice had even figured out that they had left. They parked the cars in an out of sight spot at the nearest choking puke to celebrate.

"Should have gone to the Boar's Nest." Bo grinned biting into a rib. "Even they got better chow than this."

"Bo, there ain't food so bad that you won't wolf it down." Luke mocked him.

"True." Bo admitted with a grin.

Bandit laughed heartily. "You two are some bright lads. I'd ask you to join up with the two of us, but for once I'd rather you stayed out of trouble, it's not always worth it."

"Couldn't leave the farm anyhow." Luke grinned.

"But we can get in all the trouble we want on the home front." Bo added.

"I can believe that." Snowman fed Fred a hamburger. "Now Bandit, we wouldn't have made it if not for those lads, why don't we give them a share."

"You're right." Bandit pulled out a wad of the bills he had gotten from big and little Enos Burdette. "You two boys have sure earned your share."

"Oh, no." Luke raised his hands. "We can't take any of that. We were just being neighborly after all."

"You were being more than so." Bandit grinned. "Now come on here. You gotta have some for the effort. If nothing else to fix up the paint job of your car, that Smokey scratched the paint."

It took some arguing to convince the two southern boys to accept any mean of thanks for their services. In the end, they accepted just about enough to fix up the General who had gotten a few dings in him during the chase. After that., the two Duke boys headed right back to the Hazzard County. The only place where no one thinks twice about helping out a guy named Bandit, and a fellow named Snowman.

For all of us not from Hazzard county, you might think it only happens in the movies……

The End.

_Thank you all for reading, if you liked it, please review._


End file.
